Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will overhear a whispered conversation, regarding how cute it is the way someone wiggles their tushy when they walk. You will have an uncomfortable feeling that they may be referring to you. This may make you a trifle self-conscious.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You are being followed by fierce warriers of the Nez Perce tribe. You know - those guys with the little frameless glasses on the chains around their necks? Not surprisingly, many of the Nez Perce became fierce librarians.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You've always felt, like Socrates, that the unexamined life is not worth living. There's no need to use a microscope, however.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to let sleeping dogs lie. After all, the poor things seem to be completely exhausted, most of the time. My dog, Maggie, is asleep right now (after a good night's sleep, and a nice morning nap, followed by a good snooze). It's a tough life, but someone's got to do it.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You'll find more, and very "interesting", uses for ****tail umbrellas today.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Hug day, today. Various people you know will come up and give you a hug, for no apparent reason. You will find this moderatly embarrassing.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone will ask you if you'd like some "fresh ground pepper" on your salad. Personally (this may be just a "Ron" thing), I always say "yes" to people carrying a baseball bat, outside a playing field.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You feel like you're slowly being crushed at work, in a mental and spiritual sense. Perhaps travel would refresh you? For spiritually beneficial travel, I usually consult my neighborhood Astral Travel Agency.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to avoid pickled herring.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Excellent day to fill some pantyhose with popcorn and do the reindeer dance.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Excellent day to fly a kite shaped like a life-sized pterodactyl. Try to get it to hover just outside someone's office window.
