Good time to compliment your friends. If you can't think of anything else to say, tell them they're looking "very buff." That will leave them pleased, but slightly uneasy, and they'll spend a lot of time looking in the mirror.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will discover that by simply wearing a large amulet made of bones and feathers, and by carrying a blowgun, you can usually get a seat on public transportation, no matter how crowded it gets.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Bad day to tease a yak.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
When you were young, your heart was an open book. You used to say "live and let live." But if this ever-changing world, which we live in, makes you give it a miss, say "live and let die." Or something.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Excellent day to slurp soup. Remember: if you're going to do anything, do it well. Obviously, that includes slurping.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting "Hark!" however.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Potato awareness day, today. Potatoes have had a tremendous influence on society, since their introduction into Western culture. Just think, for instance, of their effect on Dan Quayle's career!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, is the rule for now. In fact, "nothing" will play a very large part in your future.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it will be quite some time before you realize that.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be driven into a panic today by the thought that you will live to see music by Oingo Boingo referred to as "classic" rock. Believe me, that's not nearly as strange as clothing trends will be, such as the "big elbow" look.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You may be drinking a little bit too much coffee lately. That could explain why everyone else is moving so slowly, or why they say "What was THAT!?" in a verrrrry slow, deep voice, every time you walk by.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will be in an extremely stuffy meeting today, which will seem to last forever. You will be able to liven things up a smidge by putting a few small feathers in your hand, and then "coughing" them out.
